Silence - the biggest tool of communication

While preparing for a leadership workshop on communication early this month, I learnt this beautiful thing from the Buddha’s Teachings – SILENCE is the biggest tool of communication.

As Buddha says … Look at the Noise in your mind … more money, more power, more fame, more recognition, position. The noise is always about something… SILENCE is about nothing. Hence, SILENCE

Talking on the subject, he explained four concepts:

• ·         Kayanath Paschanath  - Observing your body
• ·         Vedanan Paschanath – Observing your sensation
• ·         Chitanan Paschanath – Observing your flow of mind
• ·         Brahmanan Pachananath – Observing the nature of you.

Budha said – “No Mind”. What he meant was – No chain of thoughts which is the ‘NOISE’ and hence ‘NO SILENCE’.

If words create more noise then they have not reached their goal. Want, Desire, Craving, Greed, Need create NOISE … Joy, Contentment, Fulfillment, is SILENCE. Words cannot capture existence, Silence can.

Buddha in his teachings explained further three things – Sheela (Conduct), Samadhi (Right Practice, Samayak Samadhi - Samayak Drishti i.e the right vision) and Pragyan – Awareness – the right Mindfulness. When all these three things combine … it results to ‘SILENCE’.

This SILENCE is not the numb silence or the angry silence. This is the ‘space’ inside you. ‘SILENCE’ and ‘SPACE’ are synonymous. This zone is full of Contentment, Saturation and Gravity. This ‘SPACE’ is the place where you connect to ‘self’. This can be achieved with the right alignment between the head and the heart.

This was an excellent knowledge point that I learnt from the teachings of Buddha and I seriously feel that Buddha’s teachings are immensely helpful if implement in life with correct understanding and practice.

In Pursuit of happiness !

This is during my days spent in the ashram when I was on a break from the hectic corporate liftsyle. It was cold and damp as Ii walked up the steps to Sham’s room – my new friend in the ashram. The weather outside definitely called for a hot cup of coffee. We took our coffee mugs and drag one each to the balcony.

Starting the conversation, Shyam said “Are you k? You look a little upset.

I was actually and he had made a correct judgement definitely. I said, “Well yes I m little disappointed, as I had expected to get through an international assignment, but I don’t think it has worked in favour.

Taking his first sip of coffee he said, “You know most of our lives are spent, in one form or another, in the pursuit of happiness. And we find it, too, in temporary forms - a new experience, a new relationship, a new assignment, a vacation, etc etc yet a lasting sense of fulfilment and satisfaction may continue to elude us as we learn what doesn't make us happy.”

In search of happiness, its quiet an observable fact that we attach sometimes conditions, sometimes expectations and sometimes faulty and wishful desires of  how we’d like each incident / act to turn out to be. Whenever we do something in life with an expectation of how we’d like it to turn out, we risk experiencing disappointment. Disappointment often leaves us feeling deflated with its message that things don’t always turn out the way we want. When things don’t go the way we had envisioned, we may feel a range of emotions from slightly let down to depressed or even angry. Whether we feel disappointed by ourselves, a friend, or life in general, disappointment is always a tough feeling to experience. Still, it is a natural part of life.

As like any other feeling, is just momentary and it shall also pass by. As we consider other disappointments in our life and how we have moved past them, we may even see that in some cases what happened was actually better in the long run than what we had wanted to happen. The more we are able to accept how we are feeling and process it, the sooner we will move into new emotional territory.

Disappointment is also just a state of mind, and there are many ways of dealing with it when we find ourselves in its presence. We might direct our feelings inward towards ourselves or outward towards other people or the universe in general. It is at this time that you must let the emotions come to the fore and not keep it in. Cry your heart out if needed and get rid of the sorrow and feelings of being victimized by life. We might even want to write about the experience of being disappointed—the situation that preceded it, what we were hoping would happen, and what did happen.

As Morrie says in his book ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’, “it’s only horrible if you see it that way. It’s horrible to watch my body slowly wilt away to nothing. But it’s also wonderful because of all the time I get to say good-bye”. Adding further when he smiles to Mitch and says “Not everyone is so lucky.”

The beauty of disappointment, though, is that it brings us into alignment with reality so that we don’t get stuck for too long in the realm of how things might have been. It provides us a bridge to its other side where the acceptance of reality, wisdom, and the energy to begin again can be found.

As again how says Morrie, “Wash yourself with the emotion. It won’t hurt you. It will only help. If you let the fear inside, if you pull it on like a familiar shirt, then you can say to yourself - All right, it’s just fear, I don’t have to let it control me. I see it for what it is. Same for all other emotions be it loneliness, depression or disappointment. As he says: you let go, let the tears flow, feel it completely – but eventually be able to say, “All right, that was my moment with loneliness. I am not afraid of feeling lonely, but now I’m going to put that loneliness aside and know that there are other emotions in the world, and I’m going to experience them as well.”

Smilingly, he said, “so my dear friend chill .. it’s been a while now that you have experienced the feeling of disappointment … now its time to switch to some other state of mind … choice is yours to pick which one J

Positive Vs Negative

We’ve all heard it. “Don't think Negative, Be positive” “Focus on the good in life” “Think, you could be in a much worse situation so you should be thankful for what you have” etc etc.

But the question here is … Is it a practical advice?

Well for me, no matter how well I understood the effects of positive thinking, it just didn’t work with me. Negative thoughts more often than not always barged in…never waiting asking for my permission.

The common thought is that being positive means being right, happy, and good. Positivity means good. Negativity means bad. Isn’t that obvious? Well, the short answer is “Not Really.”

What I mean here is …

To focus 100% on positivity, to try to push your brain into thinking everything is great, is to prevent yourself from making an impact in your life and in the world. When you turn a blind eye to what’s wrong in the world and what’s wrong in your life, you’ll never be able to give a permanent solution to things and situations around.

Negativity is not always bad ... Why even Unilever used this concept to give a positive spin to this concept via its Dirt is Good communication campaign (more popular as the Surf Excel 'Daag Ache Hein’ ads in India J

What I have realised is that it is absolutely ridiculous to focus 100% on being positive in your life. That can be a futile effort. Negative thoughts cannot be ignored. They will come our way, it’s being human.

While there may be many suggestions coming from experts on how to replace negative thoughts in mind to positive ones, it is very important to understand one thing, as the saying goes “ The more you resist the more it persists”. So the best approach is FACE THEM.

The idea is to first BE AWARE OF YOUR THOUGHTS WHEN THEY ARE NEGATIVE IN NATURE. Becoming aware of your negative thoughts is the first step that you can take towards controlling your thoughts and ignoring them. By becoming conscious of the flow of negative thoughts, it’s possible to reverse them.

Second, ANALYSE YOUR THOUGHTS AND SEGREGATE THE POSITIVE ONES FROM THE NEGATIVES ONES. Analyzing the negative thought patterns, understanding their source and working to segregate them from the positive ones, whether consciously or unconsciously, are techniques that are certainly helpful.

Last but not the least try CHANNELIZING THE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS SMARTLY OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM BY POSITIVE WAYS OR ACTIONS. Great people attach their happiness to taking positive action and achieving real results through this simple technique.

The life of Abraham Lincoln and many other successful people have shown that it can be done.  Cognitive therapists believe that we can control our moods with our thoughts, rather than blaming feelings on external events. As a young man, Lincoln was known for his melancholy and depression, but by the time he was President and facing the national crisis of the Civil War, he had adopted thought patterns that allowed him to experience happiness and joy in the midst of tragedy. Lincoln had learned how to change his thinking and eliminate pessimism. It is possible to change your thinking and become positive in life.

Negativity isn’t necessarily pessimism. That inner sense of being unsatisfied with your current situation will often be what drives you to achieve. I feel, though being positive has its merits being negative also has its own virtues.  In fact, in many cases that negativity is what will drive you to succeed and change your life and it is the negative thoughts that actually push your mind to think positive.

So, let yourself be negative once in a while…but when you do that make sure to take real action to make it better. That is pulling positive energy … That is making the Laws of the Universe work for you! :)

Cheers!

Lipsa Mohanty

Only 36,500 days in my kitty … Can I be a Mayfly?

It was last Sunday – The Official Weekly off – Of course the ‘Official’ as they call itJ. I stress on “Official” as my Husband is always busy and has this typical and favourite line of his “I wish I had the time to do it” and I always have my favourite fighting line in response saying … “When will u have that time?”

We were in the study working on our individual assignments when from somewhere this discussion cropped up. It was the evening time when sun was setting and the sky was looking amazingly beautiful. There was a slight drizzle also in the morning which made the weather very calm, cool and soothing. I said my husband “let’s sit in the balcony for a cup of tea”. Very surprisingly he agreed with just one invitation and we thoroughly the evening tea to the dregs of the cup... It was certainly one of those treasured moments.

Taking the last sip of tea my husband took a sigh and said “That was certainly one of the beautiful Sundays of my life”. I smiled and I said “Well we will have certainly many more such”.

Taking a pause he said “By the way, how many Sundays do we have together? I din’t quiet understand the question. Explaining further he said “Do u know even if a man lives to his full of 100 years he has in total 36,500 days and 5200 weeks. It hit me and said “O which means 5200 Sundays only... Is that all that we have?”

“Is it really true that we all have just 36,500 days with us in our life time? I couldn’t believe it and I did my calculation getting a calculator since I thought we were into some wrong calculation.

He smiled, looked at me and said “Yes my dear!!! J And that too only if we both live for 100 years together”

Adding further, he said “From that we have already moved 30 years ahead which means we have already lost 1500 Sundays and are just left with 3700 Sundays, which can be even less if we don’t touch 100 ”

Now that gave me a real punch. I went into a deep thought wondering …

“What have I done with these 1500 Sundays already passed by?”

“What can I do in just 3700 Sundays left with me … they are so less and I have so many things to do”

Seeing that I was going a little emotional about it he said “But Life can always be led as a Mayfly”. The lifespan of an adult mayfly can vary from just 30 minutes to one day depending on the species. He fills his day with the things he loves. He soars! He swoops! He savours every moment! He plays sports; He even mates during the meager 24 hours of his life. And at the end of the day rather at the end his life sits down to watch the sunset with his beloved!

Yes! Maybe there’s a lesson in this, for us all. Just think, if we embrace life, like the mayfly, what a life that would be!

At times this seems difficult. We got loads of things to worry about. We got our family, friends, studies, and work. Life is not always fair. There are times when life is more of a burden than a chance. Every night we go to bed, worrying about tomorrow. Worrying about work, about college, about the bills you got to pay, about your annoying colleagues, irritating teachers, nagging parents. Well, do we ever wonder if we would ever see the sunrise tomorrow?

In the real sense, what does living every moment to the fullest mean? Living carelessly as if there isn’t a tomorrow or is it living as if we aren’t going to come back ever again? Not necessarily so.

It means enjoying what you are doing at the moment. It’s also about the right choices you make. At times in this fast moving world, this might be tough. It may not be as easy as putting it in words. But then, we all live on hope. Because we mighty creatures do have lessons to learn from the mayfly after all!

I'm absolutely sure that's not all of it. But the question is, how much of that can I do with these few days left in my kitty and how to USE YOUR LIFE, BEFORE THE WORLD GOES AND FLUTTERS BY  J

Isn’t it high time to stop just “Existing” and “Start Living”?

As I see the thought “Existing” helps us just ‘Make a Living’ and the thought “Start Living” helps us ‘Make a Life’.

In the structured society (so called!) where in we live in a political, economical and social environment, we spend long years of our life in preparing for a degree .. a career ... or a job at best.  Most of us, are familiar with the world of making a living through services rendered to an organisation with its limited set of opportunities.We are certainly educated for the market and our skills are employed in productive activities. We are rewarded with salaries which help us sustain ourselves and our families.  But is this somwwhere making our goals narrow in view ?

Wherever we go, we take these narrow thoughts and goals with us. We thus, then end up just Make a Living, and most certainly not Make a Life. Very few of us, however, draw up goals with a far larger reach in mind.

As we evolve as Human Beings, we begin to realise and discover that what we have to really do is to ‘Make a Life’ and not just mere a Living. We cannot Make Lives by adopting high handedness. In making a life, you create your own responses and shape society in a way that is different. We may begin with rules and regulations, but we then have to move on to the more intricate complexion of life where boundaries are more fluid and flexible. A young artist would, for instance, begin with small and simple sketches and pictures governed by the rules of art. Once the artist discovers self and is able to express and create original works in a way born of interior motivation  rather than only by relying and adapting to the outside framework, he / she has begun the most important phase of his / her life journey.

This can only take place if each of us as individuals connect to a particular project or idea that makes our own heart sing. For me, I am planning to go, taking a little time out from my schedule and spend it with my parents in the Farm later this monsoon, and work on a kitchen garden. The idea is to “match make” myself with the fun of enjoying the earth and the mud and the fun feeling of being “Earthy” and at the same time spend some good moments together. Think of how much such a simple idea could change our life, at so many levels and moments.

So lets put our thoughts together and see and understand where is it that our real happiness lies. Is it only in the corporate board rooms or in the open space around us. The things we do, however big or small, are invested with a meaning.  So lets have the clarity to put our dreams and desires into action, and not just “Exist” but “Start Living”!

Cheers!

Science, Spirituality and Management share a beautiful amalgamation.

If we look at their origins, we find that all the three quests have originated out of Human Mind. We as Human Beings want to inquire everything around us with all the ‘What’, ‘Why’, ‘Where’, ‘When’ and ‘Hows’ of life. Scientific quests make us enquire about our surroundings as to “Is the earth round?” “Why is the sky blue?” Why the sun rises in the east?”, “Why eclipses occur?” etc etc. In the same manner, questions like “Who am I”,  “What is the purpose of my life”, “What is it that I m actually looking for?”, “Why is there so much of conflict within me?”Are all questions put to spirituality?

Interestingly, all the three rely on logic and refer to one thing – Human Behavior.  They begin with logic, rationality and scientific temper and hence share a common goal. However, the focus of science is on the physical world and that of spirituality on higher levels of consciousness. In the voyage of discovery, Science relies on instruments such as telescopes and microscopes, which have become more and more sophisticated today. Similarly, Spirituality uses methods like Meditation and Yoga to connect with one's inner vision.

The foundations of management as a spiritual science are evident in today’s educational institutions and corporate organisations. For instance, as a commonly used, the management exercise of ‘Goal Setting”. Goal setting features as a major component of personal development and effective performance. Numerous empirical studies over several recent decades have supported the relationship between appropriate goal setting and higher work performance. This relationship has been tested in many different ways and situations, and every time there has been proved for the two to have a directly proportional relationship. This forces us to take a spiritual leap into ourselves and ask the questions like mentioned above ‘What is the purpose of my life’ or ‘what is the goal of my life’. Such "truths" may become guiding principles that practicing managers see as ideal solutions to a variety of situations. Thus, a practicing manager may see the benefits of goal setting on performance as a scientific ideal and may then implement ‘goal setting’ in a number of practical situations, as required.

Management science that accepts the reality of spiritual dimensions has enormous potential for individual and social development. The spiritual dimension is concerned with universal values such as love, integrity, justice, supportive relationships and respect from top-down and bottom-up management. It forms the foundation of the philosophy of a corporate organisation which impacts policies in major areas such as mission statements, code of ethical business, human resource development and management.

The natural curiosity about the world and nature, when explored with an open mind, leads to awe and humility at what we don't know as yet. This creates a desire to understand more about the human mind which is constantly developing and trying to decipher the meaning of existence. This beautiful amalgamation can be further used to explore the correlation between our mental framework and physical processes in the brain and body. Another area which is important is exploring how inner harmony can be achieved among our beliefs, thoughts, speech, imagination, emotions, motives and attitude.

In terms of spiritual practice, at this moment, there are more tools available to us than at any other time in history. We have access to so much wisdom through the vehicles of books, magazines, the Internet, television, and film. In addition, the time-honored practice of meditation by just sitting quietly every day, spending some time with self, listening to the universe, is a great way to start the journey within. There is further inspiration in the fact that the greatest teachers we have in life are our own life experiences, and they come to us every day with new lessons and new opportunities to learn.

The Spiritual Journey can take root anywhere on earth, as long as the seeker is open and ready for higher consciousness. All we need is a powerful intention, and a willingness to do the work necessary to moving forward on our path.